Ok, now that I’ve got your attention, let’s be honest here, there really is something, umm, unique about our South American female friends. Brazil has had some rather interesting ‘exports’ of interest. Many of these exports have benefitted us men immensely. I introduce to you what I call ‘The Brazilian Trifecta’. The Brazilian Bikini, the Brazilian Wax and the Brazilian Butt.
I just got back from the beaches of Rio and quite honestly it’s hard not to notice how the women value a very distinct kind of sensuality there. Not the slutty, bleached, blond bimbo variety that we have come to know and love here in the States. But, rather the, ‘I own this sh*t and I’m going to torture you with it’ kind. Let’s explore the first of the above three trifecta. The Brazillian Bikini. Feared by many women around the world and endorsed by all males, who, well…breathe.
The Brazilian Bikini: Here’s the rub on this one (that was an unintentional pun) Brazilians wouldn’t dream of going topless, conversely, women would consider it in the States (and often do in places like South Beach). Brazilians wouldn’t think of wearing a full bikini bottom, but it’s our ladies’ bikini of choice in the States (Brazilians find it just too ‘granny panties’ for their taste). Many in the States see the ‘Brazilian cut’ and scream ‘slutty thong’. So who’s right? I think the short answer is-they just work what they got! And what they got-is a crazy Brazilian butt! Which leads me to number two in my Trifecta.
The Brazilian Butt: What they heck is this thing anyway? You can spot it from space without using the hubble telescope. I think Justin Timberlake said it best “she looks like a model except she has a little more a**”. It’s like two perfect, well shaped legs with this perfect thing on top. Hard to describe, but you know it when you see it. Women know it all too well. In fact, women are so aware of it that butt implants are now in the top 5 of the most performed female plastic surgeries. Google “butt implants”, I dare you, your computer will blow up. This leads me to the third and final area in my trifecta-The Brazillian Wax.
Brazilian Wax: Without the Brazilian wax, the Brazilian bikini would be impossible! Every now and again the gods shine down on men for no good reason at all and throw us a bone. The Brazilian wax is just that bone. Since necessity is the mother of invention, it makes perfect sense that when a girl wears a bikini that almost disappears, unless she wants to look like Chewbacca she needs to take care of her business down there. Men, listen closely, their down side is our upside! The possibilities here are limitless! Trust me here-I got your back.
I say long live Brazil and thank Christ the Redeemer for their little contribution to my already amazing life.
Follow Rob and Kim’s experiments in the Jet Set Lifestyle here