So, how do you know that you’ve made it? Well, when Saturday Night Live’s Seth Meyers (who ironically had my Mom for a French teacher in high school) parodies your company in Weekend Update, I’d say that you’re now on the radar!
The following is an Interview with Jordan Harbinger from the Art of Charm School. This guy is the real deal and the Master of Social Dynamics. You can catch him on the Today Show or Sirius Satellite Radio, at PickUp Podcast or at The Art of Charm. This interview is from the chick’s perspective, but guys, you may find some insight here too. If not, check out my husband’s blog for the guys perspective with Jordan.
1. The Art of Charm teaches women to be selective. Explain why you think that is important for women.
As evidenced in part by our astronomical divorce rate, people are having issues maintaining a relationship. One of the principal reasons this occurs is that people have either limited experience with relationships in general before they decide to marry, are afraid they won’t find the right person and thus ‘settle’ for what they know they can get at the time, or both. Women and men are equally guilty of this, and it is important for women to screen for the right man BEFORE they get married, instead of hoping to change someone they’re currently dating into something they aren’t. Being selective is the only way to ensure that you end up with the right partner for life, not just for you, but for the sake of your whole family. This is the most important decision any woman can make in her lifetime, so it is absolutely crucial that a woman have the power to select the man she feels is best suited for the job. This power is what we help you cultivate here at The Art of Charm.
2. People underestimate the power of the feminine energy (the nurturing, soft, loving, caring energy, not just the sexuality). Women often feel that they need take on a more masculine role to “get the job done” or “compete with the guys”. But if you ask my husband, he’ll tell you a feminine woman has a better chance of gaining his attention, business etc.. than a masculine woman. How does The Art of Charm teach a woman to use her natural feminine energy to obtain the life they’ve always wanted?
Many women think “strong” and “masculine” are synonymous. A woman’s strength does not come from mimicking masculine behavior. Women generally have a different set of skills to work with, and learning to identify those skills – things such as being more detail-oriented, able to multi-task more efficiently and being more aware of interpersonal relationships – are where feminine strength comes from. Women are also more apt to trust their “instincts” then men are, and we teach them why that’s so and we break down what is commonly labeled as “instinct” so they can learn why many times it’s okay to trust it. Women cannot succeed in the long run mimicking men because in the end, men ARE men. Women learning to utilize their own strengths rather than trying to copy the behavior of men will always be more effective.
3. Many believe that people mostly date someone on their own level. Example: A hot lady will date a hot guy. Do you believe that this is a true statement and how can The Art of Charm teach people to be able to date up a level?
Many people spend their lives laboring under the misconception that there are “levels” to interpersonal relationships. We spend a lot of time teaching and demonstrating personal value in our programs. The truth is that levels only exist in people’s minds. When a person feels his or her own value is high, they are able to see the rest of the world the same way. This effectively levels the playing field and a whole new world opens up. “Levels” are like the Matrix. It’s simply a construct of the mind. Our students learn that it doesn’t really exist, and once they have that internalized, that’s when they truly begin to live.
4. People often have no sensory acuity*. Example of having no “sensory acuity” is when a man approaches a woman and he confuses her politeness as her being interested in him and keeps pursuing her. How can people use their senses better when approaching the opposite sex?
The short answer is PRACTICE. People are ALWAYS using their senses, but the mistakes and misunderstandings arise when they attribute the wrong meaning to them. There are so many variables to human interaction that only practice can get a person better at recognizing what their senses are telling them. People who want to get better at reading people MUST get out and do it. There is absolutely no amount of reading that will substitute actual live interaction.
5. I hate being mean to anyone, and I often get approached by men while traveling. How can I let a guy down without completely damaging his self-esteem and avoid him thinking that I am being a bi-atch?
First, women in general need to be more understanding and flattered when men approach them. It takes a lot for a man to get up the courage to risk being rejected! So begin with just some human respect. If a woman feels respect for a man who has approached her, even if she’s not attracted, she will generally find it easier to let him know that she isn’t interested. Working having a boyfriend/husband into the conversation is a pretty low-key, easy way to start. Most often, men will appreciate a simple smile and something along the lines of, “You seem like a great guy and I’m very flattered, but I’m not interested. I’ll keep my eye out for you, though!” The fact of the matter is the he probably really IS a great guy – just not the right one for you. Don’t just be nice and lead him on because you don’t want to hurt his feelings, but there’s no need to act like he’s a parasite, either.
6. Women love masculine men. Think Sean Connery, Johnny Depp, Clark Gable and Russell Crowe. Masculine men are confident, not arrogant and strong, not overbearing. We want them to be the “rock” when we have an emotional whirlwind. How does The Art of Charm teach men to be masculine and to be that “rock” in a relationship that a woman wants?
We teach men that women are emotional creatures, and they just need to accept that as fact. Generally, when a woman is in an emotional tizzy, she’s not looking for her man to give her answers or solve her problem. She just needs to get all that worked-up emotion out. We explain that men don’t need to understand the emotions that women pour out. That’s a big relief for just about everyone! All men have to do is just BE the rock. A man needs to go to her after all the emotion is out, wrap her in his arms and let her know it’s going to be all right. Most of the time, that’s all it takes. The key is not trying to understand WHAT women are saying, but HOW they’re saying it.
7. How can The Art of Charm teach women to become leaders in business without compromising their femininity?
We teach women that being leaders in business is not about COMPROMISING their femininity, it’s about UTILISING it. We spend a lot of time on body language and what we call the Map of Interaction. Body language is incredibly important because many women aren’t aware that what their bodies are saying is not what they mean to say. The Map of Interaction shows exactly how people interact with each other in any given situation, from the most personal to the most hard-core business deal. When a woman understands HOW people interact with each other, she can learn to use her uniquely feminine traits to lead with confidence and power.
8. I saw that you recommend The Doors and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off on your website. What lessons can be learned form these films with regard to The Art of the Charm?
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is a film about a kid who takes life by the horns and who never allows other people’s negativity into his reality or lifestyle. The Doors is a great illustration of super-sexual, confident body language. We show clips of these films during some of our courses to illustrate certain talking points.
9. Explain what happens during your Advanced Attraction Boot Camp? What outcome should be expected?
The Art of Charm offers several programs and services, including our men’s three-day bootcamp which features over 35 hours of training, including at least five hours of classroom training and five hours of live “in-field” training each day. We also have a one-week live-in program, which is our most popular of all, and invites our clients to live with us at AoC Headquarters in Downtown Manhattan. With this intensely focused program, our clients receive over sixty hours of training and are immersed in the study of our curriculum for an entire week. This is the program that allows us to really see the transformation of our clients throughout the course of the program. Our entire curriculum spans over 150 hours of training and is all based on the surrounding principles featured in the topics discussed in the Pickup Podcast. We’ve deconstruct situations, personalities and social settings, and teach our clients about each one. We then put them back together and show you how to control them. We teach our clients how to be socially influential and lead in every situation in their lives. Some of the topics discussed in our curriculum are our map of interaction, secrets of social value, and how to effectively establish an attractive presence. The tuition for each three-day program is $1997, and each one-week live-in program is $3497, with payment plans available, and prices scheduled to increase on December 1st, 2008.
The outcome we expect is simple. It is our goal with each of our programs that our clients have a life-changing experience. We want each of our clients to leave their program feeling inspired that they now have the wisdom to apply the knowledge we have given them. The knowledge that will enable them to meet, attract, and keep the type of people they want not only romantically, but personally, and professionally as well.
10. What is the #1 thing that men wished that woman knew?
I think we all wish women knew how much we put ourselves out there. How much us men do actually think and feel about things. The way that a woman can make us feel so unimaginably amazing and can have such power over us. That we live our lives ultimately trying to become the best man we can be so we can provide everything for the women that are in our lives; our mothers, sister, lovers, and even friends. Under the rough edges we men may carry, we are so excited to just brush the cheek of the woman we love, to take care of her gently, and protect her powerfully. We wish women knew that every man on this planet knows in his heart, the root of his life, wants and desires is to find the right woman so he can give her everything. As powerful as any man is, we are fragile and sincere in our hearts.
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We just returned from Buenos Aires. We’ve learned the Tango from the best, shopped in BsAs answer to Rodeo Drive and Soho, dined in hidden restaurants and partied till 7am with the BsAs elite! The video, photos and The List: Buenos Aires should be available soon. Be sure to sign up for our newsletter to get the insider BsAs information first!