In This Episode:
So What Do We Mean By “Divide and Conquer”?
When you’re a single person, all you need to worry about is yourself, and you know that if you want something done, you do it. No communication or planning needed there pertaining on who is going to get the job done.
But what happens when you get into a relationship? You become a “half” of a couple. Often times these couples will start to butt heads when they start to figure out who’s job it is to do something. This can be very challenging and can create some serious knock-down, drag-out fights between the two. Thats because they are trying to do the SAME thing but in DIFFERENT ways, therefore the “other person” usually doesn’t do it “right”.
What Can You Do About It?
Couples need to discus (oh my gosh, yes, COMMUNICATE) with each other about what each person is good at; their area of expertise. This starts the dividing of the tasks in the household, business, family, etc. Hint: This can work the same way in your business relationships too! You need to figure out what each other’s roles are in the relationship. Again, this takes a little time and can be difficult to figure out at first but don’t give up on it, it will make things easier in the long run.
*Helpful Note* One of the best things to remember when trying to figure out who has what role in the relationship is to tell yourself your way is not the only way to do things…and it might not be the BEST way either.
Learning how to communicate with each other is key in a relationship. Along with open communication, learning how the OTHER person communicates and thinks plays a huge role in having open and successful communication lines. People think in many different ways. For example, Rob is a Linear Thinker, meaning he goes from step one to ten IN THAT ORDER. Kim is more of an open space thinker, she can talk about topics in different orders and bounce from one to another and back.
Knowing and learning how your significant other communicates will allow you to understand when they do or say something WHY they do or say it. The other person may not be saying something in a way thats bothering you on purpose, they may be saying it because that’s how they say it. A great way to start the communication is tell the other person how you like to be communicated with.
There are typically three ways people will communicate. You are either auditory, visual, or kinesthetic.
You Prefer to hear things. Like to listen to podcasts, audio books, and are very verbal
You like to see things, want to be in the room, and would prefer to read a book instead of listen to it.
You are kinesthetic if you really feel things. You may not be incredibly visual or auditory about something but you are really taking in what the other person is saying, you feel it.
Power of Persuasion
Can you persuade your significant other or do they not listen and get persuaded at all? Your probability of a successful marriage goes UP as your power of persuasion over each other goes UP as well. This isn’t about “pulling the wool over their eyes,” its about negotiation and being open to hearing the other person and being flexible. Don’t dig your heels in for the sake of just getting your way, pick your battles. You BOTH need to be able to persuade each other.